Someday oh i'll make time. Maybe. But not tonight.

So, i found myself once again wondering why it is Bridget is being such a difficult person.. it's crazy to think that so much we've been through and yet.. after everything we've been through with eachother, and how much we've been there for eachother, every obstacle we've overcome, TOGETHER. i still just can't seem to get over that she's no longer in my life... it's crazy. In a way, it's one less person to worry about, but still.. i can't stop caring. it just doesn't work that way... I have no off button :( i'm excellent at blocking emotions out however. And I continue to do that.. unfortunately. Listening to Josephine Collective, and god, i effing love it. It makes me so chill. That and Apocalyptica.. Ryan intoduced me to them, and needless to say, i find myself drawn into even the songs without words, which is slightly unusual for me.. although the white noise i've been listening to to focus more on homework has worked wonders. I think too much. And the whole not having to think of the lyrics thing helps slow down my racing thoughts and focus more on the task at hand. like homework. ANYWAYS. now that i've managed to stray kind of off topic haha ... bridget. bridget bridget klein.. hopeless and utterly obsessed bridget. God it still pisses me off that she is STILL obsessed with him... i mean good grief.. enough is enough! but i don't want to talk about that right now..

I talked to Jes Parsons last night and I remembered why i absolutely love talking to that guy. He understands my mindset so well it's insanity. He says something and i finish his sentence. We've always been on the same page.. we have a lot of the same beliefs and philosophies in regards to life. I love that we can listen to eachother and actually just soak in what the other has to say. I feel like a damn sponge when i'm talking with him haha i absolutely love it! And i don't have to worry about him having "ulterior motives" ad wanting a relationship more than friendship with me. thank GOD. we've had that conversation before. He's making me lunch on tuesday! I'm so excited!! No guy has ever made me food before! haha i think we're just having burgers or something but i'm excited regardless. I love spending time with him, specifically because he's amazing to have conversations with. I feel like i'm repeating myself when i say this but i feel so enlightened when i talk to him.. no judging, similar backgrounds, similar histories, similar mindsets, and similar personalities. We're very different in some respects, but we're scary alike in other instances. I think me and Jes were meant to be twins or something haha

"I wasn't alive for thousands and thousands of years. Then I was born and it didn't bother me the slightest." Mark Twain.

"A kid without a conscious cries alone in his cold bedroom at night. Perpetually asking why oh why am i so lonely as he sharpens his knife.Why don't we try harder than last time to dry our eyes and smile?"